I think I was baptized in dirty water

Just kidding. I was never baptized.....maybe that's my problem. Neh, I like me just the way I am :) So I've been trying to eat healthier lately (I won't use the word "diet" because that's just doomed to fail) and now ALL I think about is food. I'm constantly hungry!! If I worked out everytime I thought about food, I'd be one skinny bitch. Too bad I'm too lazy and don't like to sweat. Not to mention working out is soooo boring!! I get on my treadmill and after 2 mins it feels like 30....that's not a good sign. I'm hoping I'll get some sort of exercise as I work on my house this weekend and knock out another wall :) not to mention get out any built up anger I may have. Although I must say, I have been one happy camper these past couple days! Shocker, I know. Just enjoy it while it lasts because it could be gone at any moment.

So once again, I'm on my kick of I want to learn how to box. I thought it was just a phase I was going through before since it was gone after a couple days. But since its back I think its more than a phase and I really want to learn. Naturally I MUST get pink boxing gloves. You think they make matching punching bags? Gonna get that too. Duh. Where am I gonna put this glorious anger management releaser? No clue. We'll worry about details later. I think I might have my dad convinced of getting me one because I asked if he knew how and could teach me. Since he thinks I'm fat and needs to exercise anyway, maybe this will be the perfect reason to get me one. But for anyone that knows my dad knows he doesn't like to spend money on anything. He's such a tight wad, I really think he shits diamonds. Which only leads me to, doesn't he know I'm in desperate need of diamond earrings?? Shit. But don't get me wrong I love the guy, he's great, he's my daddy :)

You know how dogs have shock collars so they don't bark? Well if I had one that zapped me everytime I said or even thought something bitchy I'm pretty sure I'd be dead. Not to mention I'm gonna get my ass kicked one of these days for mocking people when they're still in earshot. Its not that I do it to make fun of them (well, usually) its just that since I've been living alone, I've developed this horrible habit of mocking whatever I hear (i.e.: the radio or tv) because I have no one to talk to. Sometimes you just gotta talk and theres only so much I can say to myself. AND I talk to my cat a lot. She likes it. She meow's right back at me as though we're having a conversation. She's so entertaining, I love it.

Thank god I get my nails done tomorrow, they're so jankety jank right now. Oh, oh! So I got a new Blackberry and I'm so much more in love with it than I was the last one! Why, you may ask? Because it's fresh. I get bored very easily and I gotta freshen things up once in awhile, ya know? That's why I need a new car sooooooon. We can't have my phone fresher than my ride now can we?? That's also why I need a new boyfriend....hahaaa.

Well its that time again, I must bring this blog entry to an end. Don't be sad, I'll be back. So until next time...I'm goin to a tarot card reader and see whats going on in my future. Kisses!

It's just another "courtney moment"

Okay, so my attention was just caught by an article on Yahoo that read "How asexual species survive" wow good question, this is gonna be interesting! So I clicked on the article and proceeded to read. Ok.....I got to about the 3rd paragraph and I have no fucking clue what they're talking about!! I feel like I'm reading a foreign language. So if someone wants to read about these asexual lizards, feel free to fill me in with "Courtney language" thanks, I'd appreciate it. (here's the link: http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2010/02/secrets-of-asexuality?npu=1&mbid=yhp )

So the other night I had quite an interesting dream. Let me share. I was dating Snoop Dogg (but he looked like Lamar Odom, you know, Mr. Khloe Kardashian) and he drove a Bentley that was bullet proof because, naturally, he was a well known drug dealer. He scared the shit out of me so why I was dating him, idk...but I did feel safe when I rode in his car. Ha. I blame this dream entirely on a dinner conversation with Crystle and Lacey on whether or not we've ever hooked up with a black guy. Needless to say, I have not. So this leads into my Saturday night! Had dinner with these two girls and I couldn't tell you the last time this happened so it was a nice reunion. Then we met up with some old friends that I haven't seen since the shit hit the fan with my sister. It was just like old times, so great. So we went to Speak Easy for drinks, which is never a let down. Ran into some people I haven't seen in awhile, which only makes me think, shit I need to get out more. But as much fun as I had, it was NOT my night and when I say that I mean I didn't get hit on once! NOT ONCE!!! WTF?!?! Whatever. Drank entirely too much and was beyond hungover the following day. Beyond.

Oh, ok, has anyone seen that Playtex commercial (I think its Playtex, that's the bras right? or is that tampons??) you know, the bra commercial. Anyway, they're advertising a bra in a box.... a BOX! and how convenient it is because you can see through it to make sure you have the right color. Okay.....I've heard of "dick in a box" and that's funny, but bra in a box or wine in a box, not funny. Some things just aren't meant to be in a box!

Onto another random thought in my head. I went to the movies and saw Valentine's Day (it was cute, but def not Oscar worthy) and I couldn't help but think (and get completely freaked out about) sitting in seats that have been sat in by other random quite possibly crusty people and the fear of getting head lice. That's it, I'm getting Netflix. Not to mention, when people clap and cheer at movie scenes it makes me very uncomfortable and awkward. Why? No clue. So from now on I'm watching movies in the comfort of my own home and if anyone watching with me cheers or claps, I'm kicking them out of my house. You have been warned :)

I would love to keep writing, but I gotta go freshen up because I'm having dinner with my Pops tonight. We all know I'm all about a free meal! So until next time.... nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. (thats what meesha said as she walked across my keyboad) Kisses!

I have a hard time blogging while Jeopardy is on

It's baking night! Too bad I'm not as excited about it as I was last week. Valentine cupcakes and bite size brownies. I know you're jealous.

I really hate being alone. I'm alone right now, as I usually am whenever I'm at home. **Side note: my cat is sitting next to me turning her head at me (you know, like a dog does when its confused) to the point where she's almost falling over and she's drooling. DROOLING!** It's this moment when I really wish I had a bf to come keep me company and give me the attention I need. I mean, should it be this hard?? Eff. **okay, talk about easily distracted tonight! I just saw a commercial for "scalpicin" (I think is what its called, not quite worth the rewind to double check) but they're wipes to wipe your hair and ears and shit. That was the most disgusting thing I've seen since watching the 5 o'clock news when they showed poop on a bus.** You're probably thinking, well stop bitching and go out and meet people! (because thats what I'm thinking) but its really not that easy. When I go out and I'm not feeling confident, I'm ridiculously shy and can't make eye contact with anyone (umm hi, how old are you Coat?!) Then when I'm confident I'm just a bitch and there's no one good enough for me. Where's my happy medium?! Fuck. So with all this talk I must share with you that super hott Garrett (the UPS guy, keep up people!) has been on my route for the past two days and I've been as giddy as a school girl. So pathetic. He makes me so nervous I almost can't look at him...almost. He's so pretty I really can't stop staring at him. Ughhhhh. Why can't I find this with someone who feels the same back?? Does that even exist? Yes. Because I live in a fantasy land where anything can happen. Only it just hasn't yet. Boo.

So my list of "People I Could Live Without" is growing rapidly by the day. Is that bad? I don't care.

When I hear cars honking outside I automatically think they're honking at me as if I were the only person that lives around here. Is that selfish? Whatevs.

ok, I'm tired and I'm only half way done with my baking. Eff. So until next time.....I'm getting the fire extinguisher ready because my oven keeps popping and I think its gonna explode. Kisses.

Who knew this pretty, pretty princess could do manual labor ;)

Dear Jesus,
I would like to take a moment to thank you for not blessing me with deep eye sockets and for blessing me with a wonderful family and for the friends that I consider family.
Thank you...uh, err...amen.

So as I'm sure you're all aware, Valentine's Day is fastly approaching (6 days to be exact) and once again I have no one to spend it with. (more on that in a minute) So I must say I have a love/hate relationship with this February 14th holiday. I LOVE all the pink cutesy goodies that come with the holiday, I pretty much buy everything I can get my soft, gentle, princess hands on. BUT, I also HATE it because the odds are ALWAYS against me with having a boy to spend it with so I can have my hopeless romantic fantasy, you know, the kind you see in movies. So in the next 6 days I'm praying for a miracle in the fact that something will happen and I'll have someone to spend the day with and it won't end up with me on my couch alone watching a sappy movie and shedding tears into my box of chocolates. Some of you may be wondering, "well, what about that Jason guy?" Pshh. Not only did he say he's boycotting the holiday, but with my quick sound of disgust, he quickly replied with "but I'm sure we can find something to do to make memories." Nice save. But that was a few weeks ago and a lot has changed since then. I've been trying very hard to part ways with this young fellow but all I can do is take it one day at a time. So far, so good. Okay, I'm lying, it really sucks. Even though its the best decision, its still a slap to my ego.

Last week I came upon a situation that I actually asked myself, "how am I supposed to feel sexy right now when I have to poo?" It's a totally legit question! Think about it, ponder it and I bet you'll come up with the same answer as me. :)

I totally wish I lived the life that happens in my dreams, because let me tell you I have the most ahh-mayy-zingggg dreams!! Well, except of course the one I had of a terrorist attack. Aside from the attack, in the same dream, my Noni came back and she had mad jokes knockin on Betty White. Pure comedy hour. It was great. RIP Noni- I love you.

I gotta go now, Big Bang Theory is on. Its my new favorite show! (and I secretly have a crush on Sheldon) So until next time....I'll be stocking up on kleenex for this weekend :/ kisses!!

If you only knew....

I just spent a really long time writing my new post and now its gone. GONE! Needless to say I'm really pissed right now. It was good too. Too bad now you're never gonna know the juiciness that was the post titled "Like a virgin, I'm Madonna". Shit.